Before I realized what my ex was, during the discard/silent treatment I found myself writing poems… or thoughts. Look at the words you used before you did your research to describe your experiences, during your confusion and hurt. For example, here is a poem I wrote way back on a night i was extremely sad when still receiving the “silent treatment” from my Narc… I titled it “Good Morning”.
lead me back to bed when I’m sleepwalking
When I wake I don’t know where I am or remember who I was. I only know I heard You say forever.
Why does consciousness disturb every word
You’ve ever promised me?
Nights like this You used to sing me back to sleep
But only unbroken hearts can listen to such a twisted melody
And In the silence your smile was the last thing I saw
As I felt my ears start to bleed I knew
I Should’ve believed in the stories old sailors told at sea
but I Never heard a siren’s song until you sang for me
A sound so strange and beautiful that makes young love unable to see
we are too starry eyed and spell bound to realize such sweet lullabies only exists in dreams.
and another one I had started, but never finished…
Two masks one black one one white
each led me in a dance that night
It wasn’t until I started reading and researching that I found these are common feelings and words used to describe a narcissist and their relationships with victims.
Feeling like you’re in a dream … cognitive dissonance
the use of the word mask. Truly, they wear a mask.
Feeling like you’re in a dance…
This was one of my first real “red flags” in terms of realizing T was a true Narc. However, I will post text conversations which made it undeniable. When a Narc exposes themselves you get a punch in the face that makes it almost impossible to deny the person you were with has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I still sometimes try to deny it, but you’ll see future posts as to why I cannot. If you find similarities, you too will know there is no denying you were/are dealing with a Narc.