Conversations That Help You Realize You’re Dealing with a Narcissist..of some sort haha

So, I figured I would post a random conversation that helped me realize what I was dealing with. This was after doing some of my own research… so I kind of had an idea of what was going on, but it was the first conversation I knew there was no going back to being naïve. Basically what my beloved Narcissist was asking/needing of me (after all the hurt and trauma/trouble from the discard and all cruel things after) was to allow her to verbally assault me whenever she was in the mood to feel like doing so because she could not control her own rage. her recovery was not “recovery” it was her dealing with chaos of a collapse. When I said that was unfair to ask of me, especially because of all she put me through she basically suggested that would be putting me on a pedestal compared to everyone else since she’s doing it to everyone and if they can deal with it I should too, if I was supportive. Thing is, she was dead serious. It may be confusing to people who haven’t been with a Narcissist but I’m sure all Narcs & Victims get exactly what’s going on 😉 Needless to say I did not comply after realizing there was no getting through. I still can’t believe some people were willing to do so … but I did a lot of shit until I realized the game so *shrugs* can’t judge.

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “Conversations That Help You Realize You’re Dealing with a Narcissist..of some sort haha

  1. savingshards

    I have lived with a liar cheater betrayer SA for nearly 30 years…all uncovered beginning two years ago yesterday. But he is not a narc…and as I learn more and understand more and more about this special breed of personality…holy cow. I spent an hour texting a precious friend last night who is so deep in the shit, and doesn’t see what she is dealing with yet. The level of manipulation is just unbelievable. I’m so glad you are getting healthy, getting your voice…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. fixatedtofree

      it’s really difficult to believe that nearly every move we are manipulated. However, once we open our eyes it’s too easy to see. It brings humor, disbelief, anger.. But mostly a sadness in the pit of the stomach that it’s been happening for so many years and we were so blind that none of it was real.. And can never be. I can’t say how many obvious conversations it took for me to finally not be in denial.. Too many.. :/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. savingshards

        I so get that. Most that commented on a post I wrote about being an enabler, which I swore I wasn’t but discovered I was, feel the same. Actions that are kind and caring for healthy people are abused by addicts and narcs. Hugs to you.

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  2. SITR Admin

    The more I read of your situation the more I question her narc status? Of course I speak from afar and grossly unknowing. I’ve only my own experiences as a reference point. My narcissist never took time or made effort to communicate with me or speak about emotions, quite the opposite. I was coerced into going along with what they presented of themselves via dismissive & degrading verbal rampages or days of unspoken rejection, overly dramatic episodes of apologetic fake crying, soliciting pity for sudden claims of ill health et al. We were older so texting didn’t play a role and maybe that’s what confuses me here, but these look like someone sincerely wanting to be left alone? Who initiates these?

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    1. fixatedtofree

      Its probably the age/texting thing. Her actions are all of what you are saying. I have received all of this. It used to be covert, however I have exposed her so there is no point in her hiding her intent much (although she still tries). I had hopes that she would seek therapy because she at least somewhat recognizes shes got a major issue but she has no intention of doing so now because shes claiming shes suicidal in order to get attention/money from her parents…ALOT of money..and taking advantage to go to LA, LAS Vegas etc. with it instead of being an adult. I think some narcs are more mature than others and mine is very immature, like a child. I do want to believe there is a good person somewhere in her (i swear i saw it) – but I cannot waste anymore time trying to pull it out or risk being so disappointed to find there really is none.

      This time specifically (in convo) She’s not asking to be left alone, she’s asking to allow me to contact her when only SHE texts me (she kept blocking me and unblocking me- later i found out she was still with her new source after telling me she wasn’t, i assume that’s why she would block me so the source wouldn’t know we were communicating) and that if SHE feelings like verbally abusing me that I should not be the same way back because that is what SHE needs. she Initiates ofc. I’ll be posting more convos in the future and they may be more clear for you. This convo is confusing to most, it was never confusing to me – only sad.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. SITR Admin

        I think you’re probably right about the generational thing. I do hope you’ll move on soon. From what I read of ND, even effective treatment isn’t expected to have results for years if ever at all. It’s who they are and who they’ll always be.

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  3. thequietcontessa

    I should have screen shot the billions of text my roommates have sent me. He won’t talk to me to my face because he knows I have zero tolerance for bull****. But via text he’ll be arrogant and lie while twisting everything I say like he has the right to tell me how to breath. It’s mind blowing the **** he talks if he doesn’t have to see my face.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. fixatedtofree

      I wish I had SS more of the convos, but I do have many to share. I am glad I have a few though, it’s the only way to show the truth because they will lie and you will have nothing to prove otherwise. She has slandered me with lies to everyone (even had me second guessing I was the issue) but I haven’t done so back because I do not want to hurt her. I don’t like hurting people. This blog is my outlet to share the truth. She would say this shit to my face easier than text – i can’t tell you how cruel the discard was… it just so happens she ran off to another state after and i refuse to talk to her on the phone so its her only means of contacting me 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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