Ugh. I have a massive headache but I want to get this out of my head and onto some “paper”. It’s been an insane month. I have been grappling with a bunch of issues. My various addictions and my PTSD symptoms stemming from the Narc abuse (talk about those later)
I was 7 days NC – T decided to text me today. She’s already on relationship #2 since the discard 5 months ago (haha). I was dumb and texted back. The conversations always start out friendly, familiar. By the end she becomes short and begins to treat me as if I was beneath her. I am sick of it. At first I found it amusing to talk to her because I was curious and found it silly how predictable her responses were (It was fun for me to use narc translation) however, I am bored of it by now and its repetitive. I am sure I was holding onto some false hope there too.
THE BIG NEWS!!
I want to announce that I am going 30 days No Contact. I would never let myself commit to NC because I was afraid to let go. I am no longer afraid to let go of something that doesn’t try to hold on. This time I am serious. I am counting on everyone here to hold me accountable! Any inspiring thoughts/words are welcome and appreciated!
For the next 30 days I want to mainly focus on positive thoughts/healing rather than think of the abuse and try to make sense of it. I will get back to that because I think its important for me to continue to admit what the relationship was, to identify all the red flags and bring them to light (for me and all victims/potential victims) but it’s time I really focus on the good and who I am and who I am becoming.