The Last Straw


So, you’re probably wondering what made me finally make the committment to no contact? What was the last straw?

 

 

NUMBER 1 : Last week I bought a few books. One of them being …

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I am a sarcastic, reality it is what it is person. This book is perfect for me. Just accept it. I finally have accepted it. I don’t like it but what the hell am I going to do? suffer more? The book even points out – until you do no contact you are not doing what you need to do to heal. I cannot destroy my life when i have all of this potential to have a wonderful one. Some heartbreaks people never get over. Accept it. It doesn’t mean its the end of the world or the end of an awesome life. Until I do no contact, i’ll never even know for sure if I am capable of getting over it. I finally think I will be though, which is good news.

NUMBER 2: I am worth too much …

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to let somebody that cannot begin to compare ONTOP of them screwing me and then treating me like I am whatever or however they feel like at the moment.Fucking tired of that shit. I put up with it because I “Love?” her. (another topic …) but she is not HER. she is not special and deserves no more consideration then any other asshole who screws  me over  or is rude.

 

Number 3:  Don’t make plans with me twice to visit the dogs you “loved” that I am allowing you to see and taking the time out of my WEEKEND to let you see and then cancel.   Weren’t you going to take me to fucking court over custody a couple months ago lol?

Really, don’t tell me you have a lot to do when you don’t even have a job or in school etc. please. A lot of words with friends apparently. Sorry the dumbass you originally left me for only lasted 3 months because you both are terrible.I am happy you found a new replacement so quick and everyone is laughing at you on your facebook (even your sister in law) because its that ridiculous. However, she sounds amazing I agreed with her –

 

would’t you all agree? Too bad I know its all lies ya Narc. but i’ll let you live in your fantasy.  You talked up some good lies about how awesome the dumbass was you left for, but I was so obsessed I took the the time to find every detail about her life and expose that she was nothing special like you were saying…please. Now you have to keep making the next. What about after this one in a few months…  going to own 3 houses, one of which is in Paris and be a well known entrepreneur with a phD in engineering and 30 million in the bank. Really, don’t tell me you’re going to take the time to fly down to FL and be there for your new girlfriend of two weeks but you’ll play it by ear when it comes to seeing the dogs.  

No you won’t b*itch because I can’t hear you anymore since I blocked your ass. Don’t ever put these dogs on anything but your top priority list when you’re talking to me.

 

image-2I Have sacrificed so much to keep all four and to keep them together. I am sorry you’re confusing the feelings of being Bitter with the feelings of realizing someone is a piece of shit and not worth anymore words. Let me tell you what this feeling is, since I cannot blame you as its common Narc practices and feelings. Its not anger, its not hate… its not indifference. It’s pathetic. Feelings similar to this poem I wrote back 2008-2009 when I was big into existentialism. See below, but for now reference the info gram to the left so you get what is occurring is nothing special and that your responses to me are nothing special so I need not get offended silly little girl.

I will always hope and wish for you to have a happy life, a full life because I do not want ANYONE to hurt, let alone my baby. My feelings are not bitter. I even play along with your imagination. I do that for you because I love you. After all you have done. I want what is best for you, what life you want and who you want to be even if it is not who I like. I just don’t want to know you. I liked who i knew and she’s gone, another imaginary person. Whatever she was an imaginary friend I liked playing with and outgrew.

 

Now. If only I was NOT empathetic enough to understand she can’t help a lot of what she does because she has a personality disorder, not a monster. She’s still a person who feels – a child stuck. A little bratty asshole child, but still a child. I still have to determine how I should resolve this conflict in my head to go from pathetic and empathetic to indifferent.

 

 

 

 

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