Panic Attack

I can sometimes feel it. Sometimes starting in my throat, sometimes my stomach, sometimes my temples – almost like brain freeze. My mouth opens- the shape of horror and disbelief. my body has this prickly feeling…My eyes widen and bolt back and forth. My voice I can’t find it at first, when I do it comes all at once and quickly. Too quick for anyone to understand what is going on or what I am saying. Confused by my reaction. What did you say ? 

You said no one would want me. 

You said I am crazy. 

You said you told me something or I did something that I didn’t do. 

I think you’re doing something suspicious. You’re trying to take a piece of me, or something of mine. 

You told me I’m overreacting. 

You told me be positive, you told me how to heal. You said I’m obsessing 

I know you love me, they all say they do. This is love .. So you abuse me 

I know you didn’t mean it. But in those moments you triggered the panic. I didn’t know who you were. You narcissist. Now I’ll be more careful around you, if I don’t cut you from my life. you’re everywhere. 

Then I realize it’s the trauma. You’re you. Right ? A sigh of relief, but I am watching you. I can’t trust you. I’m sorry. 

3 thoughts on “Panic Attack

    1. fixatedtofree

      it’s horrible when it happens. I get locked into once it starts for days. I just tell myself it’ll stop .. It does eventually. I’ve been getting them less and less and seeing from the outside .. That it’s just people being themselves because they say and talk that way to other people. They aren’t doing it just to me. they aren’t stacking me

      Liked by 1 person

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