A Guide to Surviving the Internet & some other delusional rantings by Cara Ivens

Preface : #catchmeontheinternet #catchmeonthenet

You ever have someone tell you that you need to get off the internet?

It’s Fucken rude.

“Put the phone down!” They scream. like you’re some sort of psychotic criminal with a loaded weapon. Surprised, you look around waiting for the cops to bust into your room.

Moments pass, and you find the fbi hasn’t come to get you. Irritated at the dramatic confrontation, you mumble for them to mind their business. Your attention shifts back and you return your eyes to your phone screen. Typing at a speed capable of outdoing anyone in a competition of timed keystroke. It’s rather Impressive, to say the least…

Yet Instead of acknowledging this, the person escalates the situation with threats to get rid of your internet plan on your phone. So you respond back with “Go ahead! I’ll use WiFi, asshole!”. “Oh yeah?!l” they say as they rip your phone from your hands and take off down the hall.

So go chasing after them with demands to give YOUR thing back they stole..When you find them their hands are wrapped around the very chord that provides the connection to your world, You feel your survival instincts kick in as your lifeline is about to ripped out of the wall…

This should be the moment where you pause and ask yourself, “what in the fuck am I doing with my life?” but instead you tell them do it, and you’ll punch them in the face. After that you don’t speak to them ever again.

You were in the middle of an internet war and it was your turn to post. Truth is you’ve already lost as you go to turn your device back on, because by this point the internet is not only effecting how you manage your time in real life but

Is also changing who you are.

This is a guide for those addicted to the chaos and ever present internet. Navigating a way through and out of the hell we put ourselves in.

I encourage you to Escape before someone you love arrests you for internet abuse or worse 302s you for ranting about some crazy doxxing that’s occurring or that you’ve caught a Russian spy, perhaps some trolls watching your every move because they’re onto your ass….mhm!

At the very least I hope you’ll laugh and put some tactics to the test. Maybe fuck up a trolls day, or better yet say a few kind words to help save someone from wanting to end their life out there on the net.


Image & Character

Internet Trolls

Social hierarchy


Internet Trash

Send n00dz

Meme theory

Current Events & internet trends


Effective lurking

Internet relationships

Stirring the pot

The dreaded dick pic

Waging internet War

Offensive Tactics vs Defensive tactics

When to call it quits

Published by


Opening My Mind to Different Sides

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